The day after a big day can be a bad day, a let down day. This morning, the day after Pascha, I had a hard time. Things bothered me, things aggravated me. I felt like I had to do things that I didn’t want to. . . and I did them. I exercised patience with people who irritated me and at the end of the day I had more wine than I should have . Wine is a strange susbstance. A couple of swallows, and I lose a lot of inhibitions. Thank God I know that about myself and I know that I could do things that I’ll be oh, so sorry for the next day. So I get the feeling and mostly I stop myself writing emails, making phone calls, spending money, buying plane tickets. Oh, yea, I want to do all those things but finally, I have come to the stage in my life where I can keep my credit card in my wallet and my fingers off the keyboard (except for an innocent blog session). My psyche still feels like it’s been through the wood-chipper but only I have to deal with that. All this sounds pretty negative but that’s because I’m alone. If I were with someone else we could both have a lot of fun, even if it was the kind of fun you’re sorry about the next day. People complain about being alone but for me, after half a bottle of wine, it’s better if I’m alone. I only get into half my potential trouble …. and that’s good, very good.
I even did a good deed. Before the wine I took an old friend of mine out for a drive. We were both hoping for a nice sunny day driving along the river but it was cloudy and showery. This is an ugly picture. Well, it was an ugly day. Zen says every day is a good day but sometimes Zen gets on my nerves. The only saving grace is the little blob on the water. The river was running fast and full today and a few minutes after this we saw that it was a little group of ducks, some of them just ducklings riding the current down river. You can see, far in the distance the Mercier Bridge that leads to Chateauguay and the Indian Reservation where people go to buy cheap cigarettes and to attend the Pow Wow in the summer. Summer seems a long way off, but it will come, it will come. Just gotta keep the faith. Flow on down with that fast flowing river and all will come right.